The sun doesn’t shine on people like me by Ken Tomaro

Image | RDNE Stock Project

The sun doesn’t shine on people like me,

 From Ken’s Gratitude Journal

 

or at the very least, hasn’t in a long time. A lifetime. I told my therapist that while I am able to laugh once in a while I’m not finding much enjoyment in anything.

 

I bought a new couch recently. The biggest and most expensive purchase I have made in decades. I couldn’t wait to get rid of the old one. It was small, too short to lay on without my feet hanging over the edge. It was not soft by any means. And most importantly it represented a part of life I wanted to close the chapter on. My sister ordered it online shortly after she had the stroke and as far as I know, never sat on it once.

 

It would take about three weeks for the new couch to arrive and in that three weeks I found no enjoyment about it whatsoever. This was just one more thing I had to rearrange my schedule for, giving up an entire Saturday waiting for it to be delivered. The sole purpose of this expensive purchase wasn’t, in my mind, for comfort but rather laziness. I nervously spent a few hours wondering if it would even fit through the door of my apartment, going on the assumption all doors are universal and the previous tenants must have had a couch and it fit.

 

The couch was a light green and long enough for me to stretch out on, envisioning myself taking many naps like the cartoon character Andy Capp. It fit through the door with some encouragement and was firm enough to hold my sizable ass yet comfortable enough to doze off rather quickly. I pass it every day on my way to make coffee in the morning giving it a pat as if to let it know it’s a good little couch. It is mine, purchased in full with my own money and does bring comfort, which is unfamiliar territory for me.

 

Maybe I had it wrong. The weeks leading up to the delivery were not the focus as I was reminded of what the therapist told me. Maybe the enjoyment doesn’t come until the couch comes. It was so simple a thought and made perfect sense.

© Ken Tomaro

Ken Tomaro

 Ken Tomaro is a writer living in Cleveland Ohio whose work reflects everyday life with depression. His poetry has appeared in several online and print journals and explores the common themes we all experience in life. Sometimes blunt, often dark but always grounded in reality.

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